Gripped with nostalgia of Green Navarathris

Navarathri or 9 holy days is a Hindu festival celebrated in several parts of India in the fall. There are actually 2 navarathri’s, one vasanth (spring, which is 3 days long and celebrated mostly in North India) and one Sharad(which is 9 days long and celebrated all over India). In my home state of Tamil Nadu, it is the Sharad Navarathri that is celebrated with pomp and splendor.

Having been born in a typical Tambram household, every day was a festival of some kind. Krithigai, chathurthi, amavasai, pournami, ekadasi – just name it and pick a day in the lunar phase. We had a feast for it or fasted around it. But the fervor of festival season really kicked off after Varalakshmi Viratham. Soon followed by Aavani Avittam and then on the 8^th day past Aavani avittam came Gokulashtami. Gokulashtami was followed by Vinayaka Chathurthi and then came Navarathri.

Mahlaya Bhaksham (the 14 day lunar phase before the new moon, Mahlaya Amavasai) was reserved for special memorial rites for the dear departed forebears. Mahlaya Amavasai was a big day where most households would be rigging padis or constructing them from pretty much what was available at home. That is the day you put the wooden Marapachi dolls first and then start the Golu. Depending on your interests and your ability, skills and financial status, it would be a 3 step, 5 step, 7 step or 9 step Golu. Golu, for lack of a better description, is an exhibition of dolls.

As a child we celebrated everything, but not the Golu. We still has extensive celebrations for Saraswathi puja, ayudha puja and vijaya dasami – but no Golu!!! It used to bum me no end when I was child. When I asked why, I was told “aagi varaadhu”. Meaning sometime in the distant past somebody in my family had a golu and some mishap happened – so it was banned for generations after. My Chellammal patti even had a trunk full of dolls – but we never “kept” the Golu. But we did follow tradition and invited folks over to our house ever year for Saraswathi Puja.

My first memory of Golu was at Nirupama’s house (Kamakshi aunty’s house). They had a Golu and we got invited. Invitations those days were personal. The women will come to your house and “azhaikaradhu” or inviting was a ritual too. They will come home with the vermillion in an ornate box (kumkuma chimizh) and offer it to the ladies in the house they were visiting and say “Enga atthula golu vechurukkom – vethalai paakku vaangikka kandiappa varanum”. We have Golu in our house, please come and accept our gifts. Then the ladies will promise to come one of the 9 days and the children of the house will be overjoyed and salivating over promise of “Sundal” – lentil/bean snacks. We would go to their house, the kids learning Carnatic music or the moms or the grand moms will invariably be asked, “oru paattu paadungo” – please sing a devotional song. Then there will be multiple off-key, sometimes really good renditions praising the Devis and the aunty will offer vethalai paaku, couple of small bananas, sometimes maybe a blouse piece and then everybody will get sundal wrapped in yesterday’s newspaper and we will all go home and eat it or finish it on the way. You can get up to 5 or more sundal packets in a day depending on how many invitations you got.  Some kids would dress up in a variety of costumes – usually like the Hindu gods and goddesses. Kind of like Halloween, but sans the horror.

On another day we would go to Vasantha akka’s house (her mom was patti’s friend). Some of those days we will make the long trek to Vaishnavi Devi Temple in Vaishnavi Nagar (oh yeah, I am a namesake) for the different beautiful alankarams(adorning the goddess) and yes, more sundal. Mostly in my years at Avadi, I was invited to these Golus on relative merit. These were friends of Paatti or Amma. For the first time, I was invited to a friend’s house for Golu on my own merit. These 2 girls used to learn music with me and I was a direct invitee. Yay me!!!

Then we moved to Vaishnavi Nagar for a brief year. There I befriended one of the nicest girls ever – Sudha. Sudha’s real name was Narayani and she was Sundari aunty’s daughter. She was a few years older than me, but kind of took me under her wing. So at Vaishnavi Nagar, it was Golus at Sudha’s house, Revathy mami’s house, Lakshmi mami’s house…lot more Golus, lot more sundal. And then at around  8 p.m, Sudha and I will go to the Vaishnavi temple and have fun. When we moved away from Vaishnavi Nagar and to Ambattur, I cried hard for over a week because we moved away from her. She still came to visit me once in a while. We still wish each other for our birthdays. She still likes my posts on FB. My dear friend Sudha.

At Ambattur, there were several invites from friends and relatives and the merriment of Navarathri continued. We had a neighbor – they did not socialize much other than Navarathri. So we were invited to their home all 9 days. What fun!!! Then I got married and I had heard that my Chaya manni “kept” the Golu. So I was so thrilled I would get to do it too. Only I moved to the US within one year of my marriage and totally missed the entire Golu season there. She still has a fabulous Golu every year.

Moving to the US and settling down took a couple of years and bingo, we had Vikasini. That is when I resolved, I will start the Golu tradition. That is the beauty of Indian marriages – you can do what was forbidden in your house if it is not forbidden at your in-laws. Long live Hindu customsJ. In the year 2001, I started my own Golu. It went from a 3 step rigged step Golu to my current 7 step professional version.

Why do I think the then Navarathris were green:

1.       We did not drive to our friends’ houses. We walked everywhere. No gasoline, no increased carbon footprint, cleaner environment, folks were more fit.

2.       We invited people in person. Another reason to visit, another reason to meet friends, another reason for (1). No phone calls, no email invites, no evites - a nice personal visit and a personal invitation.

3.       Sundal was wrapped in yesterday’s ‘The Hindu” or “The Indian Express” or “thonnai” - no Ziploc bags, fancy containers or disposable plastic ware.

4.       Every gift exchanged was totally bio-degradable (Betel leaves, nuts, bananas).

5.       There was no waste of food – people did not get invited or invite others for fancy dinners. It was good old sundal and vethalai paakku.

6.       There was no need to provide platforms for our children to showcase their talents – it was provided in households. Get the theme – no more waste of time, effort or resources.

I love this time of the year. I love meeting friends every night, socializing, dressing up, catching up, eating sundal, dinner… the whole nine yards that makes Navarathri so special. What I do miss are the nine-yard draped mamis literally making you sing for your supper J I love Navarathri in the US. But I so miss the Navarathris of the past.

 

First Standard in VSSS

Hello, back to reminiscing. My first standard (read grade if you are amercanized by now) experience was quiet a hoot.

After being enrolled in VSSS school, we had to pay the first term fees by a certain date. My parents started training us to be independent from an young age. So I was handed over the 36 Rs in cash and told to pay in the front office. So off I went, found the kind Mrs.Kunjamma Abraham and paid my own fees. So much to be said for my parents trust in a 5 year old. And so much to be said for such a responsible 5 year old. Oh wait - my arm hurts from patting myself in the back - let me get it back where it belongs :-)

Since it was the first few years of being in existence, our first year, I believe we still followed the KV style and my parents had to make a second language choice. And that started a cold war in the house. My dad, having been raised all over North India, wanted my second language to be Hindi. My mom, being a teacher in TamilNadu and having never stepped out of TamilNadu, wanted my second language to be Hindi. Of course, while they trusted me to pay the fees, they did not want me to arbitrate on this or have my own choice. Go figure!!!

Well, curious to know who won? Dad of course. So my first standard started with Hindi as my second language. But when I graduated from 12th standard, my second language was Tamil. So who really won Dad, uh? I had Dad at home to instill a life long love for the English language and Mom to inculcate good reading and writing habits. I still remember her saying" Hand writing is so important. Presentation is so important...". No wonder I remember a lot of their collective advice even now - perhaps that is what is superior parenting. Never forced, just told gently, firmly, consistently and god only knows, repeatedly :-)

I remember Mr.Venugopal(? I think that was his name, I remember his face so distinctly, but he left after first grade), my English teacher and the beautiful Ms.Stella, my social studies teacher. Everything else is a blur. By the time I was in first grade, I had graduated from being "brilliant, but talkative" to downright precocious. I remember this incident very well in English class. I was bored because I knew all the spellings etc they try to teach you then. I wanted to really go out and have a drink of water. So I stand up and ask Mr.Venugopal, "Sir, Can I please go drink some water?". He says I am teaching, I want you to sit down and focus on my class, you can go and drink water during the recess (break). But I was a 5 year old that had to have water. I was quiet mad at him.

End of the class, he asks the class for the spelling of "Vehicle". There were not any hands up, mine was, so I get called to say the spelling of "Vehicle", correctly, I might add. Then after a few questions he says "Do you have any questions". My hand goes up again. Intending to show him up to the rest of the class, I very innocently ask him "What is the spelling of Cat, Sir?". He did not know quiet what to do and roars up laughing because of course he knows I know my spellings and was being a smart aleck. He finally stops doubling up in laughter and says "Go drink your water now". Point,Game,Set,Match - Mr.Venugopal. Only I foolishly thought I had won then. It might not sound very funny now - but it was a matching of wits between a grown adult and a 5 year old.

My best friends in this grade were Venkatraghavan and Anil Kumar. The trio of us were hopping on benches, jumping from windows, generally being very boisterous. I remember these two used to, for some reason, love to tickle me then. That was the annoying part of our friendship. I am still in touch on FB with Venkat...don't know where Anil is.

We ended first grade on a high note and graduated to second grade in the summer of 1979. Little did we know that we had in store for us, a brand new teacher, who in future would shape us all into worthy individuals, who I kept in touch until my wedding and used to go visit, who is perhaps dearest to so many that graduated from VSSS - the indomitable one and only Mrs.Kesan, Mrs. K. Vadivambal miss. She started the year we entered second grade. I can still smell her distinct wondrous smell. She is so alive in my memory like she is standing right here, in front of me, as I type this. More to come !!!

Meet the neighbors

Once we settled down in the newly painted, gated and gardened(?) G40/4, we started to get to know the neighbors.

Obviously we lived in G40/4.

In G40/1 lived a family of 4, I can't remember all their names, but I do remember Vinod. Vinod's initials were M.K.Vinod and I think uncle's name was Karunakaran. Those days you never asked for adults' names - if I remember some of the adults' names in our block, that is because I probably had a personal relationship with them. Aunty was very nice and would let us all tramp up in her garden. Since they were the other corner quarters, they had a huge garden too. Vinod was in the same class as me and he had a little sister. Bordering their backyard was the backyard of another family that lived in the other block. They were the Rao brother's family. I remember Pallavi - she was my class too and all her uncles were very good painters - artists. I think we still own a watercolor one of them did for my Appa.

In G40/2 lived Ramakrishnan uncle. I really think he was married but his family lived in Kerala. His home was also home to a group of bachelor's who were his room-mates. So we called his house the "Bachelor's quarters". He had a huge tree in his front yard and a even bigger mango tree in his backyard. He did not mind at all if we suttufied mangoes from his tree. So all our houses' pickles came from his mango tree.

In G40/3 lived my favorite family, the Balakrishnans. I think I first befriended Vatsala aunty even before I became friends with her children. I used to visit with them EVERY SINGLE DAY. No, not to play with the kids, but to hang out with Vatsala aunty. I used to talk to her, then talk to her and talk to her some more. My god, thinking back she must have been one very patient person. I used to watch her buy fish everyday and clean it and cook it while she explained patiently to me, a pukka TamBram, the art of cleaning fish, cooking it without smelling fishy and also the art of extracting the fish bone so people would not choke over it. I would nod sagely - I think I just loved all the attention she showered on me. Her sons were Shibu and Shejil and her daughter was Lija. Lija was several years my senior - I think when we moved there, she was already in 8th standard or something like that. She was also very quiet, I have rarely witnessed her talk or yell or scream or anything my boisterous family would do. Shibhu was the older of the 2 boys. he was kind of borderline quiet as well. Shibhu and Shejil were in the same class and at least 3-4 years my seniors. Shibhu had some health issues and missed a year and joined Shejil in the same class I think. Vijay and I used to follow these 2 around and torture them when Vatsala aunty was not available :-) Shejil taught me how to play my first game of cards. He was always such a patient guy and knew how to play with little kids. We all played cricket together. The only reason I was in that team was because my dad bought me a cricket set, so my condition was that if they were to  use it they had to have me on the team. Shibhu used to call me "Malcolm Marshall" because I used to do this big show of running a long distance befor bowling a ball which would be far wide anyways. I just knew Balakrishnan uncle - but for some reason the moment he came home, I would rush out the door. I think as a child I was initimidated of him. He was sweet and did not say an unkind word. But I never got to know him like I knew Vatsala aunty. Of all our neighbors, I think the rest of my family was also very close to this one family.

In G40/8, right above us, lived Sudhi Matholi(I just recently know his last name), with his brother Suji and their parents. Sudhi was a year older that Vijay and a couple of  years younger than me. He was such a studious and meritorious learner. Kind of quiet, but used to come over and play with Vijay all the time. I can distincly remember Suji and uncle and aunty's faces peering at us from their high perch as we talked back and forth.

In G40/7, first lived Sunitha and Vinitha and then the Moinudeen family lived there until we moved. I used to play with Sunitha (one year younger than me I think). Vinitha was a baby then. The Moinudeens pretty much kept to themselves - later I heard Moinudeen uncle was actually a spy and was expelled from HVF Avadi. Wow, did not even know I was living right under the nose of all that excitement. Excitement apart, I did feel a certain indignant anger when I heard it. Who knows if it was all true or not - but I felt/feel very strongly no Indian had/has or should have a right to sell the defense secrets of a country.If he did do that then he got what he rightly deserved.

In G40/6 lived another close friend of mine, Lakshmi Alagappan. She had 2 brothers, Sivanand and Vijayanand. Siva was the usualy older child, mature and while he played with us, made sure his siblings were safe etc etc. Vijayanand was a character. A hoot to be around and made us all laugh all the time. He used to take Hindi songs, change a few words here and there or add a south indian accent and it used to sound so funny. I used to play Gilli Dhanda with these guys too. Siva used to make the gilli and dhanda I think. Lakshmi was in my class as well (I use my class loosely - in Vijayantha Senior Secondary School - English Medium school as it was otherwise known - we had about 8-9 sections of over 50 kids in each standard a.k.a class. So we were all in the same grade,Vinod, Pallavi, Lakshmi - but not in the same section).

In G40/5 lived Sini and her family. Sini and Sudhi were in the same class. I know she had a younger sister. I can even still remember her face. But unfortunately I do not remember much of their mom or dad. They lived right across Lakshmi's house and I was a frequent visitor there too. Lakshmi's mom was an avid reader and stocked up on the Tamil Magazines and I used to borrow them and read them, after I was done with all the magazines my family bought. This was inspite of school, extra curricular activities, homework, pattu class, etc etc. And playing outside all evening - well, if you know me, you know what a Type A personality I am.

There, the neighbors are introduced. Most summers were spent in idyllic laziness playing in each others' yards or biking all across HVF Estate or reading. We used to stage plays in our garden. Play gilli dhanda, eat guavas, go to the Estate shops :-), play cricket, play in the park opposite our quarters all day...What fun. Andha naalum vandhidaadho...I am in touch with Sudhi, Shibhu and Shejil. Through them I know of Lija and Suji. Wonder whatever happened to Sini, Lakshmi, Siva , Viji and Vinod. Will I ever get to see all of them again...

Introducing VSSS (Vijayanta Senior Secondary School)

This is the 39th anniversary of my alma mater. I cannot believe the school is almost 40 years old. OMG, time does fly, doesn't it? Ok, I will try to stay out of cliches. I see on the website www.vijayantaseniorsecondaryschool.com that some of my teachers are still working there. Can't wait to go there in May 2014 and see them. It has been 26 years since I left the school in 1988 after my 10th standard.

In Avadi, there are schools and there are schools. My favorite will always be Vijayanta Senior Secondary School. For here I went, for 10 wonderful years, to complete my secondary education among friends and trusted teachers after my 2 year stint at the Vijayanta Nursery School.

Kendriya Vidyalaya, HVF was established way before VSSS. I think VSSS was founded in 1975. It was another school that was run in the CBSE syllabus to cater to the employees of HVF, Avadi. KVHVF was no longer able to handle the intake of all the offspring of the 6000 employees and their ever growing families. So the management of HVF decided to run 2 new schools, one in English Medium and based on CBSE syllabus like the KVHVF and another one, Tamil medium and based on State of TamilNadu education syllabus. My mom was transferred there(Vijayanta Higher Secondary School, VHSS or Tamil Medium school) from when she moved out of Satyamangalam after having me.

So for those that did not grow up in Avadi - why is there this common theme of naming schools "Vijayanta". Vijayanta was the name of the combat tanks that were produced at the Ministry of Defence, Ordinance Factory Board, Heavy Vehicles Factory (HVF) Avadi. These tanks defend, defended and will continue to defend the country at all her borders. This girl was born and raised on patriotism.

 

My 10th standard English teacher, Mrs. P. Omana is the principal now. She started teaching English in our school as a very young college graduate. She used to live at HVF Estate too. I believe her dad worked there. We have seen her get married (again to somebody who was already working in HVF), raise children...wow, a lot of ours' and our teacher's lives revolved around HVF and Avadi in those days.

 

I started in this school in June of 1978 in first standard. There, I just revealed my age :-)

I wanted to introduce something that is really near and dear to my heart.I will start blogging my years there in chornological order soon. This is no attempt to self advertise my life - but I do think my life has been and continues to be very interesting and it is personally very satisfying for me to record it here in these blogs.

2014 - The Year of the Great Depression

I am back with a bang. In case any of my blog followers were wondering why I left off in early December 2013, well, this has been the year of the great depression for me.

Don't panic or immediately worry for me - I am fine and back on my own 2 feet.

Living in the United States, especially in Ohio, where the weather changes every 5 minutes, I thought I was a seasoned veteran of our long, cold, hard, bitter, snowy, frigid winters. I had, in my 16 years here, always heard of people getting afflicted with what is called "Seasonal depression syndrome".

I had, have and will always pride myself on my inner strength. I would be the first one to bawl in emotional fervour when I am hurt or angry, but I never let anything get to the core of me. So I never understood what people were talking about.

In my hometown and in my language, Tamil, we have a saying that equates to "only if you have had toothache or stomache you would understand the pain" - "pal valiyum vayithu valiyum thanakku vandha thaan theriyum". How true. While I sympathized with these folks, I had no clue what they felt like or went through.

All until the GREAT WINTER of 2013 and 2014. This year, the winter has been the longest of all. Started snowing in October and did not relent until March 29!!!! And who knows how many more snow (not snowfall, snow storms) we have in store.

BLEAK does not even begin to describe it. Since the beginning of December, I started feeling this gnawing forboding of something bad to come. Usually Christmas lights and merriment cheers me up, but I felt no cheer this year. I kept myself busy with my role in Vindhya Cultural Association and organizing our Band and Karaoke competition, but still peace and joy seemed to elude me.  My ever loving and indulgent husband tried everything to cheer me up - all in futile.

I would get to work through snow and go home and vegetate in front of the T.V. I am a foodie, but even food did not cheer me up. I existed, cribbed on FaceBook, made everybody around me generally miserable. Even when my 13 year old asked me if I was depressed (she had a seminar of recognizing depression symptoms at school), I did not see it as a wake up call.

I desperately wanted to move and having convinced my dear husband and family, put a lot of things in motion. I was that desolate, desperate for warm weather, just determined to see this behind me. Not even the idea of having to change absolutely EVERYTHING, start over fresh in another state deterred me in what I thought was my quest for better.

Then February came rolling along. I always like February. Because even though February is still frigid, it is a short month and I think of March as the heralding of spring and I felt infinitely better. Because of things I had set in motion in those really morose months of December and January, I got an interview call from one of the states I was trying to move to. That was my wake up call. Gone was the general sense of inertia. Gone was the desperation to move. I just said, "If winter is here, can spring be far behind".Lo, behold, I started hearing the birds chirupping in the morning again(my favorite time of the day) and even though we continued to have snow storms, they were just that and I decided to stay where I was.Then I unconvinced my ever patient husband about moving and my daughter was jumping for joy. She never understood or agreed with the idea of moving. This is her home.

So here, spring is here(atleast officially) and I cannot feel any better or more bouyant. I believe God creates all these experiences in all our lives so we understand others' pain. Not just pay lip service, but genuinely strive to understand what they are going through. Having gone through this, I hope I never do again, at least for the next 16 years :-), but I will now understand what some others feel.

I promise I will take off where I left to continue to record my experiences living in Avadi. Part of that tropical paradise called South India. Ok, don't go there, that was the nostagia trying to play tricks on me again - Ohio is still home. Home, Sweet home !!! But Avadi will always be MY FIRST HOME and the sweetest of all my homes.